I made a decision recently that deeply served me. Throughout my life, I’ve been the person who saw things through to the very end. Even if “IT” was no longer serving me, if the goals shifted or the ideals evolved. I was brought up with a traditional work ethic where the mandate was “…you stick with it through the good and the rough spots, no matter what.” While I still respect perseverance…to an extent…I’ve reached a milestone. At 56 years old, I am done with “sticking with it.”
I am over the mandate…the expectation to sticking things out when they compromise my time, my energy, my clarity of mind, my health, and my joy.
Walking away from a situation that no longer serves your needs isn’t a sign of failure, it’s the act of self-preservation. It’s wellness. We are living in challenging, uncertain times, particularly when it comes to the job market and economic security. Navigating that landscape requires immense resilience. For me, however, this next season of my life is focused on reclaiming agency and control of my agency. Not control in a negative sense, but rather positive control where I maintain stewardship over my life, my time, and my happiness, rather than letting external demands hold power over me.
Some might call prioritizing oneself as “selfishness.” I call it self-preservation.
Trading Burnout for Being Present
For months, I found myself burning the candle at both ends, and predictably, I was starting to burn out in the middle.
When I initially wrote this post, it was last Saturday. Normally, I would have dutifully shown up for a work-day shift. However, doing so meant I would have missed a major milestone in my 14-year-old son’s life: seeing him perform in his high school marching band. Just a few days ago, after he spoke at a gala, he turned to me in the car and said, “Mom, of the two events I had this week, I’m really happy this is the one you attended.”
That statement touched my heart deeply. Yet, it also allowed me opportunity for reflection. I was that parent who never missed my son’s milestones, events, practices; his overall development whether personal, external or emotional. It was in that moment that I realized I didn’t want to watch my son’s life through a surrogate experience; peering at an event through a video clip sent to my phone. I wanted to be in the stands, the proud parent cheering for him in real-time.
Early in my career as an educator, I promised myself I would honor a pace of life that allowed room for rest, family, and recalibration. Over the years, from public education to educational consulting, and eventually launching my own business – Felicia Clotworthy Collective – I’ve always endeavored to hold space for what matters most. As an entrepreneur, the reality of managing multi-income streams and navigating “feast or famine” seasons is very real. However, I’ve chosen to pause projects that drain my energy and redirect my full focus back into my family and growing business.
I love working for myself. I love supporting other organizations. I love building something rooted in excellence, creativity, and mutual respect, where people are valued, supported, and allowed to thrive without compromise. However, I cannot do that at the expense of not being authentic and whole for myself, so that I can be present, authentic and whole for all the things that concern me.
Styling for the Soul
That same spirit of authenticity and freedom is at the heart of how I view style and the work I do with my clients.
If I’m being completely transparent, I’ve been grappling with my own closet lately. Over the past few weeks, I’ve been going through my storage bins, trying on clothes, starting with my jeans, and facing a frustrating reality…my body has changed. Menopause, life, and stress have added weight, different proportions and a deeper need for comfort. Moving into size 14s, larges, and extra-larges means that a collection of fabulous clothes I lovingly curated over decades no longer fits.
For the first time in my life, I haven’t felt like myself in my own clothes.
Having to rebuild a wardrobe at this stage of my life is daunting and expensive. Keeping only what fits right now has left me with a capsule collection that, while highly curated, can sometimes feel boxed in. Years ago, I used to make my own clothes. Every piece was unique, artistic, and entirely me. Lately, as I have been treating myself with watching the Spring runway shows on YouTube, marveling at the artistry of my favorite designers Prada, Miu Miu, Chloé, and Celine, I am remembering what real fashion looks like…feels like. I crave clothes that feel like living art, not mass-produced fast fashion emblazoned with logos.
Recently, while working as a stylist with another retail brand, I was forced to wear their uniform of expensive, moderate quality pieces, uninspired design, and shoes so ill-fitting they literally left calluses on my feet and burns on my ankles from standing all day. It was a stark reminder of what happens when we sacrifice comfort and craftsmanship for someone else’s brand identity.
I don’t wear uniforms. I refuse to be boxed into a replication of someone else’s aesthetic.
I am currently in the process of regaining my own style…again. Rebuilding a wardrobe that honors where my body is today with grace, artistry, and absolute comfort. It is within that exact journey where my passion is fueled as a style consultant.
Style should never be centered around conformity, wearing a rigid uniform, or forcing yourself into clothes that no longer serves you. Stye is an active, evolutionary process. It is the art of becoming. My goal is to help you bypass the noise, the poor craftsmanship, and the frustration, and connect you to pieces that bring you pure, effortless joy. Comfort is paramount. Whether it’s finding five exceptional core pieces, the perfect footwear that respects your feet, or a coat that makes you feel unstoppable, you deserve a closet that celebrates who you are right now.
When you feel good in what you wear, a true transformation happens. It creates ease, flow, freedom…and joy!
An Exercise: Your 15-Minute Style Reflection
Since style (like life) should only hold room for what truly serves you, I want to invite you into a quick exercise today.
Set a timer for 15 to 20 minutes [don’t overthink it or overdo it] and open your closet:
- Identify 1 to 3 items that bring you absolute joy: Ask yourself why they make you feel that way. Is the garment tied to a cherished memory? Is it something you searched for years to find? Or does it simply make you feel alive the moment you put it on?
- Identify the items that no longer serve you: Look past the “maybe one day” pieces or the clothes keeping you anchored to the past. If an item no longer brings you joy or fits your current lifestyle, remove it.
- Pass the joy along: Place those items in a bag to donate. What no longer serves your current chapter might bring immense delight and usefulness to someone else.
Editing your closet is manifesting room for clarity, comfort, and happiness in your daily routine.
I’d love to hear from you: Try this quick 15-minute closet edit today, then reply directly to this post or drop me a message. Tell me: What pieces made the cut, and how did it feel to let go of the rest?
Here’s to living, dressing, and thriving on our own terms.
Warmly,
Felicia
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